Main Topic: Am I Tough Enough? 

Main Topic: The Misunderstanding of Toughness

• • From the Book, “Do Hard Things” by  Steve Magness (an affiliate link through Amazon.)
  • Subtitle  chapters the essence, “Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness.”

• Misunderstanding of toughness.

  • Many versions are destructive and romanticized.
    • “In the name of toughness we rationalize the absurd.”
    • “The mentality is to never show weakness, grind it out, play through pain.”
    • There is a masculinity assigned, but research shows that women quietly handle pain better than their male counterparts. 
    • “Toughness based on reality, not false confidence or bluster.”
    • “We’ve prioritized external displays over true inner strength.”
    • Fake toughness as defined by Magness:
      • Control and power driven
      • Developed through fear
      • Fueled by insecurity, and
      • Based on  appearance over substance
    • Often teams will take on the strategy of the military when they have hell week. This was not used as a way to develop and train soldiers, but rather to see if they could endure the stress they would encounter in combat.
      • “Stress inoculation doesn’t work unless you have the acquired skills to navigate the environment you will encounter.”
  • The dangers of the improper version of  “Toughness”
    • Heatstroke
    • Rhabdo- where damaged muscle products seep into the bloodstream
    • More commonly, individuals getting injured or sick.
    • Psychological consequence: lower independence, emotional exhaustion, burn out and fear of  failure.

• Real toughness

• • The demanding part of toughness needs to be met with care and responsiveness.
  • “Real toughness is experiencing discomfort, leaning in, paying attention and creating space to take thoughtful action. It’s  maintaining a clear head and to be able to make the appropriate decision. Toughness is navigating discomfort to make the best decision you can.
  • And research shows this model of toughness as being more effective than the old concept.
  • Toughness comes from an inner drive to keep focused, embrace challenges, and bounce back when things don’t go your way.
  •  This is KEY: “Real toughness pushes us to work with our body and mind instead of against them. To face the reality of the situation and what we can do about it, to use the feedback as information to guide us, to accept the emotions and thoughts that come into play, and to develop a flexible array of ways to respond to a challenge. Toughness is having the space to make the right choice under discomfort.”